Psychological Impotence

Numbers vary, but most of the studies agree that psychological factors are responsible for more than half cases of male impotence. Some sexologists testify that up to 80% of the cases of male impotence are caused by psychological factors.

psychological factors

Some sexologists testify that up to 80% of the cases of male impotence are caused by psychological factors

In the majority of cases psychological impotence is caused by the men’s fear of underperforming. All the media that surrounds us leads us to believe that men are always willing and able to have sex and that is the norm. However, the reality is quite different. The majority of men as young as thirty might experience trouble getting an erection no matter how hard they try. It is normal and is associated with gradual hormonal changes in the man’s body.

The problem is that the man will view this as a sign of a disease, and the next time he will attempt having sex, he will be very worried about not having an erection. And naturally, due to all this stress, it is very likely that he will fail again! Thus forms a downward spiral of anxiety leading to failure and failure causing more anxiety.

Other causes of psychological impotence include:


Sexual dysfunctionis often one of the first signs of depression

  • Stress. All can agree that when you’re constantly worrying about your mortgage payment, health insurance and rising gas prices, your thoughts about sex might get pushed out by more pressing matters. In such a situation, you might want to have sex just to get it over with, which can often lead to failure.
  • Depression. Sexual dysfunction (both in men and women) is often one of the first signs of depression. Oftentimes, the wife or the girlfriend of a depressed man will think that she is the cause behind his inability to get an erection, or might even blame the man for not being aroused by her. Naturally, this will push the man even deeper into depression, making his condition even worse. Regretfully, the medicines that treat depression can also cause inability to get an erection, which is why many men with bipolar disorder often resort to medical treatment of their erectile dysfunction.
  • Indifference. This can be caused by the inability of partners to communicate and to express their sexual fantasies. If one of the partners is unwilling to compromise and to fulfill any of the sexual fantasies of another, this might be interpreted as a lack of affection and might even lead to the desire to cheat in order to fulfill those desires.


How to treat psychological impotence?

There is a very easy and effective treatment which can be used to treat psychological impotence associated with anxiety. The fear of underperforming can make anyone anxious, and if the man failed even once, he will be even more anxious the next time he has sex. So, how do we break this vicious cycle? The main technique used to treat this condition is Sensate Focus.


The main technique used to treat this condition is Sensate Focus

Sensate Focus – is a technique which both partners should complete together. Usually, the sex therapist tells the couple that they SHOULD NOT engage in sex for a period of 1 month. However, during that time the couple should:

  • During the first week, each day of the week they should find at least one hour to explore each other’s bodies. During this time partners are prohibited from touching genitals or erogenous zones of each other. Also, this can only be done using the hands. This way the partners will learn how to pleasure each other without touching each other in a sexual manner.
  • On the second week the partners are allowed to caress erogenous zones of each other. However, they are still prohibited from touching each other’s genitals. They can still only use their hands at this time.
  • On the third week the partners are now allowed to use their mouth to pleasure each other. Touching genitals is still prohibited.
  • On the fourth week the partners are finally allowed to stimulate each other’s genitals. However, penetrative sex is prohibited.

This method allows for the couple to completely explore each other’s bodies, heighten their sexual arousal and show them that penetrative sex is just a small fraction of the pleasure that they can derive from sexual intimacy. In most cases by the end of this month the man will completely forget about his anxiety since he now knows how to pleasure his partner in many other ways.

Pay Attention to your Relationship


Communication is very important

The number one thing that all couples lack when they come for sexual therapy is communication. By coming to sexual therapy they want to doctor to do the job for them, though there are some people that are truly too timid to discuss sex. All of us have our desires and things that we don’t like. Usually people expect their significant other to guess what they want. However, sometimes it can be very hard to know exactly what your partner wants. This is why communication is very important.

One of the ways to deal with this issue is to sit together and create a long list of all the kinky and romantic stuff you can image even things which you may find unacceptable. Then each partner can write “Want”, “Will do, if asked”, and “Do not want” beside each of the things on the list. This is an easier way to show to your partner what you want yourself, what you can do to make your partner happy, and things that you won’t tolerate at all. With time your attitude toward various things may change, which is why it can be a good idea to create such a list at regular intervals. It is very important to be respectful of your partner’s wishes, and do not try to pressure the other into doing something they “Do not want”.

Masturbating is normal, but be careful

Everyone will agree that masturbation is completely normal, and often necessary even for those men who have a steady sexual partner. Oftentimes the woman just can’t keep up with the sex drive of the man (however, in some couples the tables are turned). It is important for the man to know that masturbating is OK, as long as he is doing it in such a way that his partner is able to replicate. Masturbating too furiously or too often can lead to desensitization of the penis, making the man unable to climax during regular intercourse. The main way of treating it is to just stop masturbating for a while, and the sensitivity will return after a while (usually it takes about a month).

Also, it is important to keep track of the explicit material that you are using when masturbating. It is a bad idea to masturbate to things which your partner cannot perform, since this will lead to man’s inability to get aroused without that certain stimulus. It is a good idea to masturbate while fantasizing about your partner and it is probably the best way to increase your sexual desire for your partner, though this may sound kind of weird to some people.

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